Dark Passenger where art thou?/The darkness chronicles

Is the dark passenger pleased? Will he finally shuts his mouth and stop with the craving? No, the dark passenger is still here, but he is waiting and he is pondering a plan. What new things does he want? It looks that the dark passenger wants more than material stuff, he needs something, somebody in his life. You can buy the world, but it is only pleasant to share it with somebody.

Sitting in a room, with all the things you crave already bought. With the desire of wanting more, you are never completely satisfied. How can you feel happy when you can't share with somebody, showing that somebody your stuff, share your cravings. Not only cravings but also pain. To be honest, the dark passenger is kinda lonely, he is that dark spot in the room, nobody watches, he is the feeling everybody dislikes.

The darkness, everybody lives in some sort of darkness. Everybody feels something when the darkness falls. When it is dark you kinda put your life in order, you organize everything. Every pain or happiness comes to order. The darkness has something mysterious, something that makes you think and wonder. In the dark you even see images, you use your fantasy to create pictures, some good some bad. Some create hearts or other fun images, other bad images like demons. But whatever you make, it is all in your head. Life is like that, you can blame life on the bad things that is happening to you, but you make all those choices. The things you choose will take effect on your life, everybody has one role in life and that is making the right decisions. With bad decisions there is only one to blame and that is you± But it is not that easy as it looks, do the right thing is really hard. You are constantly in fight with yourself, it is like the inner battle.

Sometimes I sit in bad staring into the darkness, thinking, think about my next move, thinking about my life. You fantasize about your perfect life, you hear the noises you want to hear, you smell the smells you like, you see the people you life and want to love. In that perfect life, you make the right choices. I make the right choices, I don't make bad choices. But I sometimes I do. Everyone makes bad choices. The world we live in, is not perfect. The darkness is my friend, the darkness helps me forget the world we live in. The darkness is making me turn into a person I want to be.

As I sit here, with my laptop, listing to Kings of Leon - Use somebody and stare into the black space, my mind becomes empty. Nobody to share this, no-one to share this empty bed. Yeah I could use somebody. You are wondering: "are you depressed, are you emo"? No I am not depressed nor am I an emo. I don't wake up with hate or with the feeling i want to slash my wrists. No, I am not like that. It is normal to feel like there is nobody to share feelings. My friends, yes I am normal. Everybody feels like this at a curtain point in your life. When you see pictures of a lovely lady or see somebody on the street that is absolutely cute, you want to share your life with her, but it can't be. Of course it is normal to fantasize like that. Of course there are curtain people you are rather be with, but face the music, sometimes you need to be happy with what you got. Life is short, spend it all on whatever you want!

As I listen to the words of Caleb, I understand the song. The darkness I sit in, is helping me to understand. In this darkness you can concentrate much better, all your senses are responding better than in the day. The best way to listen to intense songs in the darkness. The darkness is you friend. I listen... I close my eyes... My mind is wandering away..., going to that special place in time and space. Thank you dear darkness, I share these feelings with you. I am not alone...



-strike first-
-strike hard-
-no mercy-

grts, mig